this picture tells it all.

oh another thing..

oh iya, i forgot to say.. jadi kan i have this friend at school, who i tell stuff to that none of my other friends at school now. he's really nice, so i thought he'd be the perfect person that i could tell stuff to. jujur ya, i did it because i wanted to make a relationship between us, like, i mean, i want him to be the person that i tell stuff to and i was the person that he would tell stuff to. but no. we're going down a one way street. ah i dont know, i wanna fit in so bad, like im trying to show the real me at school but its like i'm not given the opportunities to, you know? like if they knew about my life in australia or just my life before i went to 5 then they'd deffs flip. please!

hm.

well hello. its the holidays, and guess what. aku disuruh ikut pesantren gitu deh. nginep selama 4 hari 3 malam. gaaaaaaah, it was super awkward. i met people. well, na duh seruni! its defs an experience i dont think i'll forget.

jadi hari jumat, aku disuruh ke mesjid. i thought it would be okay.. soalnya dikirain cuma buat dateng terus pulang lagi. ehhh, ternyata di suruh nginep. i was SUPER hesitant at first. for a few reasons; first, aku ga suka tempat yang banyak orang, second, i dont know anyone..well i did but i wasnt that close to that person, third, i have other stuff to do, and lastly, i just plain cbf. but i went. terus disitu ketemu anaknya temen papah, namanya teh nisa. cantiiiiik loh! shes really nice, especially to her sister. so we talked abit, and yeh.

terus pas bagian pelajarannya, oops kayanya aku salah kelas deh. soalnya kan nasirat itu 15 and under terus LI atau Lajnah Imaillah kan 15+. i got confused soalnya im 15 sama kelas 1 SMA, tapi dimasukin ke LI. tapiiii, as i found out later, ada juga anak yang 15 terus anak kelas 1 SMA tapi dimasukin ke nasirat. ?!?!?.

yeh anyways, kaka kelasnya, even though i shouldnt actually say this about them, keliatan jutek jutek. i felt so uncomfortable. i really felt like an outsider, but they're infact the only people that i can talk to about religion and stuff.. but its the truth! anyway, lets not talk about the older kids. oh my god, i absolutely LOOOOOOVE THE LITTLE KIDS! they are so fucking adorable, no words can explain how i want to adopt them. namanya ada sholiat, salma (omg the MOST adorable kid ever!), firana (the SECOND MOST ADORABLE KID EVER!) roudah, and nurul. they are soo nice :) i really want a little sister now. i miss them so much!

it was a pretty tough 4 days and 3 nights. bangun jam 3, mandi di tempat yang EEEEK DISGUSTING MUCH. nkjsgfzlixfgjfgd

but now im back home, finallllly. i have no idea what i wanna do during the hols. im trying to make a list, this is what i've got so far :

1. watch lots and lots and lots of dvds.
2. ngerangkum sebanyak banyaknya pelajaran buat semester dua
3. beli buku banyak!
4. get my phone done
5. go out, hang out with ayu, linda, relive the (good) memories dari smp.
6. just try and not to be bored.

oh you see i striked out getting my phone done xD i got it done today, and im quite happy that it looks like brand new ;) different colour now, its black. woooooooooooooo

tau ngga, aku jadi tiba tiba kangen sama anak anak melville, like ALLI, CHARLOTTE, RAHUUUL, KURTIS, NATHAN, DYLAAAAAAAN, JAI, DEISHA, BRIDGETTE, TIM, BRODIE, DAMON, ADEN, and also ALINA. hmm. i wanna go back! :(

kuaghsdfa

haloo. i havent been posting in awhile. hmm alot has happend. for example, i got my "mr.robert" on my foot out, i had a surgery on saturday, which absolutely KILLED! i had it stitched back and got the bandage thing removed the other day, so its going good.

oh iya, hari senin-rabu, adalah acara sparta. itu tuh acara anak anak osis sama pk, tapi pmr harus jaga. ya udah, karena aku ga dateng hari sabtunya gara gara the stupid mr.robert, aku dateng ke sekolah pake baju item item. eh, ternyata semuanya pake seragam. silly me. gue di ketawain deh sama temen temen. whatevs. i reckon the first day of the event was okay.. but i didnt really like the second. people kept asking me, "ser, jempol lo kenapa?" aku jawab, uhh.. sakit.....

terus ada temen yang bilang, yang kebetulan aku curhatin tentang kaki aku, "itu, dia kegigit kucing. makanya kucing tuh dikandang!" aku jawab, "ih, emang dikandang tau. kandangnya rumah kamu." and yada yada yada. at the end of the day, he texted me saying that i shouldnt keep my secrets away from my friends, they were gonna find out soon enough. i felt bad, for making him do that, but hey, i didnt even ask him to.

terus, mamah pulang. yayy! :D i hope shes now a better person than she was before, amin.

hm there was this other incident.. but ima tell you later.

terus dibagi rapot. i was pretty happy with mine :) ga ada yang di bawah kkm, ga ada yang merah, jadi alhamdulillah. but now i have to work and study harder, coz there are still a few subjects that i thought i should have done better in. chayooooooo

kthxbye

me and them

at first, i didnt know what i was doing. a friend introduced me to this club. i didnt think much, just joined. at first, i felt super awkward. i really, really, really wanted to redo what i had just done. but after a while, i got to know all of them. staying up at school at 9 oclock on a saturday night with them is one of the bestest memories i have ever had. i like hanging out with them, because, firstly, they make me feel free. absolutely carefree of all the shit at school, wretched homework that had to be handed in the next day and all of my misery at home. thats them. they've opened a side of me even my classmates don't know. thats them. they've made me feel like i belong somewhere. thats them. they are PALANG MERAH REMAJA SMA NEGERI 5 BANDUNG.

thank you, for everything.

this weekekekek

ALHAMDULILLAH! akhirnya UAS selese juga. phewww. hmm well im not really that relieved. like, aku kayanya banyak yang di bawah kkm.. like economics, tadi. semogaaaa aja nilainya ga begitu rendah kalo di rapot. amin ya robbal alamin.

minggu iniiii.. hmm. first off, mamah pergi ke singapore. enaak puiiissann. murah lagi katanya. cuma 700 ribu. ha serambut gue itu mah. anyway, di rumah sekarang jadi sepi dan kasian juga ke papah sih harus jadi a single parent for three very noisy kids. wayahna nyak! :)

ohmygoddddd, tau ngga? hari senin rame loh. first of all, alhamdulillah ngerjain soal uas nya banyak yang bisa. but thats not what made it rame. aku kan udah selese uas kan ke sekre dan ternyata di sekre tuh ada yang mattress buat gymnastics itu loh. trus aku tidur tiduran di situ. sambil canda candaan, kita semua maen maen di mattress itu... termasuk si X! ;DDD oooh lalaaa. he kept teasing me, but i liked it xD teheheh. teasingnya tuh bukan ngejek ngejek yang jero, tapi in a playful manner, you know? like tapping my head and so on. terus dia tuh ngejek aku, by covering his eyes everytime he sees me. yaa i was kinda playing along with it xD he must of thought that aku tuh pundung yaa, soalnya udah gitu aku pulang. bukan apa2 sih, cuma emang udah agak sore'an dan aku harus belajar. ya aku balik aja yaa.

terussss, pas ke jalan belitung, aku inget.. AKU KETINGGALAN HP DI SEKRE! with all the embarasment, i had to go back. eeeek. oh on the way back, guess who i saw! DIAAA #2! tehe dia tuh anak sadagori, v'12 kayanyaa, tinggi, cakep, putih, gagah, bergairah dan dan lain lain ;) suaranya agak aneh tapi. anyways, he walked behind me ehehehe. okay, pas aku nyampe ke sekre, aku diketawain -_____- udah gitu tuh hp aku disembunyiin lagi! sialaannn. terus si X dan anak pmr yang satunya lagi si A tuh seolah olah ngehint kalo hpnya ada di mereka. yang banyak ngomong sih si A jadi aku curiganya ke dia. udah beberapa menit, aku mulai kesel. dimanalahhh? i cant live without my phoneeee. dang. terus mereka pada bilang "tadi tuh ada yang ngambil, om kamu. yang botak itu..." YA OM GUE EMANG BOTAK, keselllllll -.- aneh banget bisa tau. lama ke lamaan, hp aku masih di ambil. aku udah nyuruhm si X sama si A untuk ngeluarin semua yang ada di sakunya. masih aja gaada. ya udah deh! aku pasrah! pasti yang ngambilnya juga ngembaliin besoknya kan? ya udah gitu aku coba coba lagi ajaa, siapa tau bakal ngasih at the last minute. udah gitu, aku pergi dikit. trus kata si A tuh ya udah deh kasiin aja kasihin aja. aku waktu itu udah meh banget, udah deh aku pergi. tapi, ada suara yang manggil manggil nama aku.. "SER! SER!" i looked back and saw someone smiling, he was waving a purple blackberry in his hands. DAMMIT YOU! aaargh aku di bully bully. sama si X lagi. haaaaaaaaaaaaaa. udah di kasiin teh masih aja ngebully bully aku. dasar >:(

then came one of the most interesting parts. kan si X tuh jatuh dari motor baru baru ini. kacanya rusak. being the nice friend that i am, aku udah gitu nanya, "X, kaca mana yang pecah?" trus dia bilang "gaa, gaada yang pecah. hatiku yang pecah." trus aku bilang "huh?" "hatiku pecah. hatiku pecah melihatmu bareng #3"

aaaaaargh! aku udah gitu diem aja. ngeliat si X dengan pipiku yang mulai memerah. then he replied my expression with a grin. we looked at each other for like 2-3s. awww my cheecks are blushing now xD udah gitu dia ngajak pulang bareng. maksudnya aku ikut dia. then on the way, dia bilang "ser, senyum dong." then i forced a smile. "ser, senyum! aku bisa tau kamu lagi sedih ato ngga. suaranya beda" holy freeking moly. is it just my shitass memory, ir was that the first time a guy has ever said something like that to me? (:

soooo thats about it. we kept teasing each other and stuff on the way but yeah. i lke things like that between me and X. just as friends ?

so today, kan tes suling mendadak tuh. does the teacher know the definition of JIJIK is ? we had to use 2 sulings for the whole angkatan yang belum tes suling.lucky me, i had to use the suling after rian, anak kader. udah gitu kan aku keluar terus ngeliat si X cemberut aja. ya aku bilang senyum X, senyum! he just looked at me with a blank expression. i wonder what went through his mind when i said that? hmm. probs, geez seruni mind your own fucking business.

okay soo now, aku lagi banyak waktu. waktu ini aku mau gunain buat ngecatch up sama ayu, sahabat pertamaku disini. dia tuh ga keukur kebaikannya, buat aku sih kebaikannya kaya sister aja. cuma sekarang, aku udah ga kontak lagi. sayaaang banget :(( aku kangen. jujur. selama ini dia udah baik banget sama aku, tapi aku apa? gatau aku juga. hopefully, things will get back to the way it was before.

world first!

 aaaaaah halo! hmm maybe this isnt a world first, soalnya aku dulunya emang udah punya blog yang kaya gini dan akhirnya ga ke urus juga. but i want to make this one different. aku kan sekarang udah SMA dan pengen ngerecap everything from SMA. shall we start?

yeah, so the basics, aku seruni fauzia lestari. ooh i really like my middle name now (: ha dulunya aku ngga begitu sukaaa, soalnya beda sendiri. tapi aku sekarang malah suka kebedaaan itu :) okay anyway, aku sekarang udah SMA, like i said before. ga nyangka loh sumpah. kalo aku, yang pemalas, yang sering ngomong sendiri kalo ngerjain peer, bisa masuk SMA NEGERI 5 BANDUNG. its like, whoaaaaa a freekin miracle! tapi yaa, aku sama keluarga aku ngorbanin banyak buat itu. do you wanna know what? lets begin from the top.

jadi aku ini dari kecil suka pindah pindah dari indo ke perth, australia. because of my beloved mum's work, i had the opportunity to live overseas for quite some time. there, i had the time of my life. well, sorta. ada sih moment moment pas aku galaaau, tapi ada juga moment moment dimana aku bareng sama temen temen aku, yang sampe sekarang merupakan temen terbaik yang pernah aku punya. some, like charlii, alli, kurtis, blaine, kelvin, nathan, bryce, dylan, bridgette, deisha, shenae and alll the other kids. lalu, pas 2009 aku balik. anjriiiiit, hidup tuh serasa ngebalik 180 derajat plus plus! semua yang aku punya, kelas aksel, knowledge, friends!, comfort, pssh everything! itu hilang begitu saja. ya jujur aja, aku sempet depressi. nangis itu udah setiap hari, untuk beberapa bulan. aku mau ngomong, mau curhat ke ssiapa coba? sahabat sahabat semua ada 2893798372592837649187269157271661 km away from me. sampe sekarang yaa, aku masih susah mau cerita cerita ke orang tuh.

pas SMP di indo, terus terang aja yaa, banyak dukanya dari senengnya. paling senengnya itu malah pas udah lulus, pas aku mulai deket sama temen aku, ayu sama linda. kita kemana mana tuh pasti bareng. foto bareng. ngeceng bareng. tapi, itu cuma pas udah lulus doang. udah gitu kan kita berbeda sekolah, linda ke medikacom, ayu ke 21, dan aku ke 5. hmm.

when i first attended senior high, i had really high hopes. i planned to start new, fresh, get rid of all the horrible nightmares of the other school. i met wonderful people. or so i thought.

yaa emang banyak sih yang baik ke aku. tapi.. okay, mulai dari mos nya aja yaa.

pas mos.
hmmm gimana yaa ngejelasinnya juga? ini kan mos pertama aku. pfft mana ada di melville ada yang kaya begini? paling kalo ada juga jadi bahan omongan senegara dan melville itu bakal langsung di berhentiin masa sekolahnya. aku tuh yaa, yang namanya takut tuh bener bener. bukan takut gara gara takut hantu gitu, tapi takut dimarahin. i should have known, itu tuh cuma an act to "welcome" kids. yeaaaaaaaah some act :l waktu itu mamah lagi gaada lagi. cuma ada papah. kasian pisan, sumpahnya. aku bikin papah kesel, sakit hati, kecewa, dan nangis. anak macam apalah yang sakit hati ngegituin orang tuanya? itu semua gara gara mos tuh! kalo gaada yang kaya mos mos gituan ya aku ga akan gitu. hmm. pas hari ketiga, atau ke dua, aku pulang malem banget. aku takut. aku hampir nyasar. (aku teaaaa, paling kupernya gatau jalan ke rumah sendiri) malem itu juga, aku ngusulin buat keluar dari 5.

untung sih ngga, soalnya pas udahannya lumayan.

aku ketemu banyak orang. salah satu adalah si X. teheh ga usah disebutin ah namanya, bisi telinganya panas. when i first saw him, daaaaaaaayum he's hot! hiss smiiiiiiiile, dimplessssss, and ofcourse his eyes (: ya aku coba buat pdkt. he made me feel like i was the only girl in the world.

stupid of me, ternyata dia tuh gitu ke semua orang. sooo fucking stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. aku jadi punya rasa ga enak sama orang itu, sampe sekarang.

terus ada beberapa kasus lagi, yang aku sampe detik ini masih pendemin dari orang orang. like the case with Y and her licikness. and Z with his wierdness.. then stuff with pmr, parents. all the stuff thats been bothering me and has made me cry a lot. alesan aku banyak nangisgara gara aku pendemin semua ini dari orang orang. dari pas masuk 5 aja, aku ga banyak curhat. pfft emang ada ya yang mayu ngedengerin aku?ke si X aja, kalo aku mau curhat dia ga mau. emang disiini aku punya siapa? kadang aku curhat ke keluarga, tapi kadang mereka juga bosen aku complain tentang sekolah.pas aku masuk, aku ngeharepin di sekolah ini aku bakal ketemu seseorang, seseorang ini bisa nenangin aku kalo lagi emosi, bakal ada buat aku kalo lagi seneng ataupun galau, juga bakal bisa aku lindungin, share jokes with. siapa aja ke! but no.

di kelas, aku diem. emang aku orangnya agak pendiem, soalnya aku emang ANTI YANG NAMANYA MALU! tapi, aku juga kadang ga bisa diem, atau maceuh luar biasa. aku juga bisa bikin orang ketawa sampe keluar air mata. aku juga bisa jadi sahabat seseorang. aku juga bisa sepintar, atau mungkin lebih! aku bisa. and i just really want you all to see that i have a different side to me.

so with this blog, mungkin bakalan really geje, raaaaandom, extremely depressing, full of wierd pictures tapi ini bakalan jadi diary aku, selama aku inget mengisinya. ini bakal penuh dengan kejadian kejadian di 5, di rumah dan juga di hatiku (:

JADI BUAT KAMU KAMU YANG NGEBACA DIARY INI TAPI SEHARUSNYA NGGA..

AWAS SIAH GA AKAN BISA EE!